From the Archives: Discovers Nitrous Oxide (1976)

in Culture

The first thing I want to do before I become involved in the relation of my story is thank all the High Times readers who wrote in and asked for another of my stories. The publisher was very pleased, although I was a little scared, as some people wrote with green crayon on red paper and talked about weird things. The publisher gave me some money to write another story, and I have spent it on a color TV here in New York. One of my friends said that was just like an Indian to do such a thing. All I can say is I kind of wish I was back on the reservation just for a visit so I could get some of my relatives to come over and smash it. Hate to do it myself. Cost me a hundred nicks, and for that kind of money I can get more entertainment in my head. END OF THANK YOU, BEGINNING OF STORY.

“Johnny Bob Discovers Nitrous Oxide.” I don’t like that title. After all, I didn’t discover nitrous oxide. It was the Englishmen who owned half the world, leased a third of the rest and had enough money to support farmers’ sons who liked messing around with glass bottles and explosive mineral powders on their 52 weeks a year of free time.

I don’t begrudge them their free time, but I would like to point out that a hell of a lot of scientific discoveries were supported and paid for by Johnny Bob’s ancestors, who were busy swapping beaver skins, real estate and shiny yellow shit they found in rivers for wax candles, colored glass and some other shiny yellow shit that later turned out to be brass buttons.

I guess we all play a part …

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Author: High Times / High Times

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